Episode 06: Writing is a Journey So Bring Snacks!

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Welcome to the Shy Girls Finish Last podcast. I'm Nicole Lathen, a certified shy Black girl. I hope you’ve had a restful day. Let’s get into it!

Hey ya'll, thank you for joining me. Today, I want to talk about writing. Writing can be daunting. There's so many moving parts and it seems like a concept that's difficult to grasp. But it doesn't have to be. Writing is a craft and it's a journey with an undetermined end. And this is where we all start. This is Writing is a Journey, So Bring Snacks!

When I was in about fifth or sixth grade, I was one of the only kids who could check out library books from my school's library. Sounds strange, right? It shouldn't be a wild statement. But city kids who didn't grow up with an appreciation for books would tear them up, rip the covers, use sharpie all over it, and whatever else they could do to ensure no one else was able to enjoy it. And schools didn't have a large budget for books to replace them at the rate kids were ruining them. But it was a deal I worked out with the school's librarian. As long as I promised to take care of the books, no ripping or marking, then I could check out whatever I wanted.

That was a gold mine to a kid who escaped into fiction whenever I could. My mom was a big part of getting me into reading at a young age. And she never censored what I read. So it was a no brainer that I jumped into any and everything I could find. Anything that sounded interesting. Anything that scared the jeebies outta me.

So, I stumbled across a book called The School Story by Andrew Clements. Back when books were $3.99 for a paperback, when publishers had eighty-plus long series because kids read chapter books like candy, and when the Scholastic Book Fair came to school and got everyone excited about reading. Anywho, the book was about two twelve year old girls who try to get a school story published. It was really about Natalie, a little girl who lost her dad and lost a connection with her book publisher mom who didn't know how to help her. By trying to publish this book and not have her mom find out her identity, Natalie and her mom learned to talk and build that bond again.

I don't know what it was about that book. But it was like a spark went off. Like lightning in my veins. I read that book and I was like, you know what? I want to do that. I want to write. And I didn't know it at the time, but I was really saying that I want to write a story so well that people fall in love with it and share that joy with me. I wanted to transport someone into my world and foster that same love of reading because of silly words I wrote.

I had no clue what I was doing. I just grabbed a notebook and wrote the first thing that came to mind. My first ever story was about two sisters who lost their parents. One of the sisters wanted to wash her hands of things while the other sister became obsessed with a locked trunk left to them in the will. It ended up being a ghost story; one sister was haunted and trying to get the other sister to believe her. It was eleven chapters long and I had so much fun that I shared it with a friend. Everybody had to know about this thing called writing.

We ended up passing stories back and forth and I just…wrote a lot. Whenever I had a free moment in class, I wrote. Whenever I was done with my homework, I wrote. I always had a notebook, always thinking of another story. I wasn't the greatest at finishing my stories; I was too hard on myself as I started to get better at writing. Better at looking at my writing objectively and seeing where my strengths and weaknesses were.

My main problem was that I read phenomenal stories. Stories that still gives me goosebumps to this day. Books that altered my brain chemistry because they were so good. But when I looked at my own writing…it didn't quite measure up to the authors I admired. The authors that shared these brilliant stories with me and taught me so many beautiful lessons.

And I wondered why. I had great taste in books. I read all kinds of things from mysteries to sci-fi. I explored exactly what I liked and I had a blast every time. Some books will always be better than others, but for the most part, as long as a book was in my hand then I was having fun. But as my writing got better, my inner critic grew sharper.

I only noticed the mistakes. My characters were flat, my dialogue was terrible, and any other nitpicky thing I could think of. I spent too long trying to work out how I could make my writing sound like the books I read. There was this gap between the skill I admired and the skill I had. And no matter how hard I tried, no matter how many stories I started, the skill I had never matched the skill I admired. The harder I tried, the bigger the gap got.

And that made me depressed, angry, and hard on myself. Like I had so much fun with that first story I wrote, what happened to that? Why did something I love so much, something that I knew I was born for, hurt so much? That just didn't seem right. I loved coming up with ideas and brainstorming and eventually became an outline true believer, but I could not see the ideas through to the end.

Some stories I did manage to finish. I wrote a Greek-mythology inspired young adult novel full of adventure, fluffy romance, and danger. And I wrote a thriller about a teacher's aide obsessed with a student, to the point of stalking her and putting her life in danger. I was all over the place. But I was lost. I had these incredible ideas. These huge, epic, whirlwind, cinematic masterpieces in my head and I couldn't figure out why my skill did not match those I considered the greats. Why I couldn't download the pictures in my head and turn them into sweeping words that took people's breath away.

It took a long time for me to understand why. And the answer is simple: they wrote what was fun for them but I wasn't writing what was fun for me.

Like most everything in America, writing is a business. It's a transactional relationship between writer, publisher, and reader. Naturally, there will be trends. Like when Twilight became popular, it gave rise to Vampire Diaries, The Originals, and True Blood. When Hunger Games became popular, so did Divergent, The Maze Runner, and Dangerous Minds. Publishers see that a particular concept or genre is popular so they rush to get more. Vampires are in now! Then came witches! Then came whatever else.

The problem with that is that the focus turned from what's genuinely fun and a good read to what becomes a commodity for people to also jump on the bandwagon or are too late and get left behind. Trends moves just as fast as the world around us. Vampires may be popular now but in the months to years it takes to write a vampire novel, they've already moved on to post-apocalyptic novels. So no publisher is picking up another vampire novel and it feels like a waste of time and effort.

It's a never ending cycle of trying to write what's popular, or popular-adjacent, or trying to be a breakout star writer and get that six figure book deal and book adaptation. I'm not going to sit here and pretend that isn't on everyone's minds when they're writing or publishing, mine included. It's a business. Folks are here to make money.

But if your only focus is the money, then I'm very sorry, you've already lost. You're playing a game with no clear winners and no prize at the end of the long tunnel of despair. I'm here to tell you now, that if you do not respect writing as a craft, then you won't be fulfilled. Whether you're doing this professionally or as a hobby. Chasing trends is a good way to be stuck in your writing, mad at yourself, and angry at life for not having the story in your heart out in the world.

Writing is a game of contradictions. It's fun but it's stressful putting the puzzle together. It's beautiful but it's hard finding the right words to convey the proper emotions. It's glamorous but only for the ones who "make it" and get articles written about them. There is absolutely no difference between you and your favorite writer except they finished their novel. They did the work. Writing is work. It is a craft. People have spent so long telling others that anyone can write that they didn't stress the process or the journey or how much hard work goes into crafting a good story.

Our level of skill does not match the skill we admire because we're likely comparing the first draft we wrote, or in the process of writing, to someone else's fifth draft that was edited seven times over to ensure all elements worked together and there were no typos. It's no wonder then that all we see are errors, mistakes, and character issues.

Beyond that, somewhere in the middle of writing, we lose steam because it stops being fun. We get unmotivated to keep going. We talk ourselves out of continuing because who'd ever want to read that story anyway?

You. You should want to read that story. You should be writing whatever is most fun for you. The fun is what sees you through to the end.

Books inherently are fun. Fundamentally, they're fun. Characters become real. Book boyfriends are a thing. Ideas are dope and stay with us long after we've read the last word. Books teach us empathy. It makes us think and it makes us question the world around us. By that same token, you can feel what a good story is. If you're a heavy reader, then you know when a story feels right and when it doesn't. When you've been promised one concept on the book summary but doesn't deliver in the actual story. Your favorite stories evoke emotions that make it a favorite and make you lose sleep for.

So, if the author was having fun while writing, you can feel that. It's like those stories hit a little harder. There's truth to them. The story is three-dimensional and plays like a movie in your head. But if the author was not having fun, you can tell. The sentences are stiff, the paragraphs are stilted, the dialogue is weak, and so on. You have a critical eye thanks to your reading habits. And all you did was read for fun. Translating that into writing, that critical eye guides your writing but you have to find the fun.

There are billions and billions of people in the world. There will always be someone who wants to read your novel. Guaranteed. How do I know that for certain? Because you want to read your novel. You should be your biggest audience. And though we want all of the readers in the world, we can't have all of the readers in the world. People will have different tastes. And if you're writing to pander to every reader alive, you will never be satisfied. If you write to enjoy the story yourself, you will always win.

Toni Morrison once said, ""If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it."

I got into writing because there weren't many stories with girls who looked like me. Girls who looked like me didn't have stories where we got the hot guy, we went to space, we battled vampires, ghosts, or goblins. And I'm a huge nerd so I wanted more stories with Black girls going on an adventure. And if you've fallen into writing, I'm going to assume it's the same for you. You didn't see yourself or you can't exactly find what you truly want to read.

That is why the number one advice for aspiring writers is to read. You have to read. You have to get your hands on as many books as you can. You have to see what's out there, learn from these greats that we aspire to, and then download what we've learned to write that novel that we actually want to read. Because when you write for fun, you will always want to revisit it. When you go back and read your writing, you should be over the moon.

I didn't always like reading my stories over. I did the editorial sweep of catching typos, but it was more like I was glad to finish something and get it out of my system. I didn't stop to appreciate what I'd done. No one ever said that I should love my own writing. No one ever said that I should read my own book and get giddy all over again. My writing has grown now because I started exploring what I wanted to read. And you know what? I've been having the time of my life. I re-read my work now and I laugh out loud. I get a tug on my heart whenever I reach a vulnerable scene. Because I know my tastes exactly and because I wrote it for me, it will always hit. I choose to share that with others so they can enjoy with me.

I didn't get here by accident. I've been writing and failing for years. And it was only in the past two or three that I really started respecting the craft and taking it seriously. But still keeping the fun with me so that I always enjoyed what I wrote.

And guess what? We can all reach that point. We can all get there and close the gap between the skill we admire and the skill we have. The skill we admire from our favorite authors are all teaching us what a good story looks like. The skill we have is good right now. We have to try and we have to fail a lot, but we have to change our mindsets.

If no one has told you then let me, you are in control. You are the first reader for your story. If you don't like it, then how do you expect us to?

I won't sugarcoat it and say it's easy. It will not be. There will be a lot of hard work you have to do on your part. If you think writing is a get rich quick scheme, then this isn't the podcast for you and I wish you luck on your journey. But if you're willing to put in the work to level up, then I got you. And I will say it a thousand times, this is not a how-to guide. I can't teach you how to write. Only you can do that. Writing is funny that way. But I can help you get a proper foundation. I can help you grow your confidence in your own writing. I can help you find the fun.

We all have to start somewhere. So I'm here to say, this is where you start. Clean slate. Put down your worries. Take the stress off your shoulders. You will not be an overnight success story. Writing is a journey that's not marked with goal posts. There is no official milestone to mark your progress. There are no badges or certificates you can get that makes you a capital W Writer. You write, you're a writer. Plain and simple. You don't have to justify it, you don't have to apologize for it, and you don't have to defend it. You write, you're a writer.

Let's start with our mindset. Be teachable. If you walk around like you know everything, then there's nothing for you to learn and you will just have to be content with your level of skill now. But if you want to grow, then you have to think that it can only get better from here. We can only go up. Each piece you work on is making you better. Each book you read is making you better. Listening to this podcast is making you better. We have to have that growth mindset as a writer. Putting ourselves down, apologizing for our weird tastes, or only letting our inner critic speak is a thing of the past.

Get in the car beautiful, we're taking a long road trip, destination unknown. Bring snacks, I like Reese's the most but I also wouldn't turn down a KitKat.

Before we wrap up, I invite you to join me. In your journal, write down what you thought you had to do before you could be a capital W Writer. Or write down what you thought writing was like before you started. If you're starting for the first time, write down what scares you the most about writing. Or write about what you want to read. What books did you wish existed for you growing up? I will post my answers on my Instagram.

See you next time for a new mini-series: Common Myths and Where to Find Them, Part 1: Comparison is the Theft of Joy. Steel sharpens steel.